Since writing this, “Oodles” have anounced that they have been taken over by themselves under the new brand name “AtoZee”.  This is mainly to redirect funding to their more obscure projects, such as Space Travel, Time Machines, Age Control, Mind Engineering Nanobots, and Total Culture Recall, removing them from public gaze until they are fully developed.  Their core activities of Merchandising Placement, Information Redirection, Sensory Displacement and Substitution will continue unabated.


“The Oodles Corporation own and control all of the information and data about the whole Human Race – well, most of it, anyway. Its slogan “Save Our Souls” rather gives the game away as to the purpose and motivations of “The Founder”, apart that is from making oodles of money.

“Information on everybody and everything is kept in massive data banks known as “Clouds”. It has been found that the only way to digitally store such large amounts of data is in the form of modified DNA, where the AT and CG pairs represent 0 and 1, whichever way round the pairs are. The controlling impulses are fed at light speed through magnetically controlled light channels. The DNA can be copied and replicated in the normal zipper fashion, but also transmitted as electro-magnetic pulses to anywhere on Earth, the Solar System, the Galaxy, or indeed, to the whole Universe. The only limitation is time, as the speed of the radio waves is fixed.

“It was also discovered some time ago that there is an incredible amount of redundancy in nature. Each living cell contains hundreds of copies of its DNA, and each body contains millions, if not billions of cells. The whole set of data for a single individual, including his or her experiences, memories, actions, thoughts and desires, can easily be stored in a few cells. Three copies are kept. If at any time the controlling computers constantly monitoring their charges find that one of the copies is different from the other two identical copies, a fourth copy is made and the rogue destroyed, thus preserving consistency and continuity.

“Because of the massive redundancy, and the limited necessity for copies, it has been statistically proven that the data for the whole of the Human Race and its experiences, past, present and future, can be stored in the testicles of a Friesian bull. Which is what Oodles have done! Not literally of course, but huge rows of test-tubes full of the milky-white seminal fluid are now stored in the “Clouds” dotted around the world. For safety’s sake there are multiple copies of these banks, each identical, at different “safe” locations, in case of natural disaster, man-made disaster, felony, terrorism (yes, it still exists!), or invasion by Aliens from Outer Space.

“Not only are copies of everyone’s DNA kept, but also all their thoughts, knowledge, artefacts, paintings, drawings, writings, ideas, experiences, and fantasies. The data is not restricted to the human species. All living creatures, plants and animals are represented, along with whatever thoughts and memories they have; and the blue-prints for all types of elements, compounds, materials and artefacts are routinely stored.

“Such artefacts, spare parts, and even living organisms, can be reconstituted in “3D Solid Chroma-colour” with the CAD/CAM machines known as “Ovarians”. Oodles’ ultimate aim, when life on this planet becomes unbearable, even impossible, through living-space constraints, climate change, resource depletion, and pollution, is to shoot the banks of seminal fluid and Ovarians into space to colonise the whole Galaxy, and eventually the Universe beyond, with such copies – but actual living, breathing beings – suffused with the minds of people who have once actually existed, until they died, on Earth. It is a kind of Eternal Salvation, with Heaven being ordered and controlled just as the humans want it to be, or at least, as The Founder wants it to be. Most people know and approve of the plan, as everyone is linked via their terminals to the data banks; even The Founder himself, who needs access to the totality of human thought and invention to carry out his Creation.

“There is a slight snag though. At present, a real living entity is needed to contain the thoughts, perform the actions, and create new ideas, inventions, art, music and literature that are the essence of humanity. The real-world manifestations of sentient beings range from those horrible crystallised rock-heads on their atrophied, mummified bodies sitting in caves, to magnificent, lithe, athletic beings who can run and jump, have adventures, and indulge in climactical sex with regular and recorded frequency.

“There is no real need for memory as everything is stored in the Clouds and is instantly re-playable at the press of a thought. It is a legal requirement that terminals are implanted in everyone’s brain at birth. There is no need to remember facts, or know how to do maths, or write, draw and paint physically. It’s all done directly from the mind, via the Web. There are no schools, no education system; everything is known and is instantly available. Also, there’s no religion. All types of belief have been subsumed in the reality of universal knowledge, incontrovertible fact, and the common goal of “Saving Our Souls” and populating the whole Universe. There are no politicians, press barons, or bankers – except for the Oodles Corporation itself; they were all redundant years ago, their motives too easily found out.

“Life-styles and virtual activities are chosen for people according to their stored profile, suggested subliminally, and presented as side suggestions to whatever they are doing, or wherever they are. There is no need to move, and some don’t! Everyone knows about everyone else, who they are, what they have done, what they are thinking, and what they are about to do, through the cybernetic neural network of the Internet, Social Media, and instant communications.”

(PKD’s Blog #1)



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